Betsy and I first met in Mexico on a volunteer trip. Though we didn’t start dating until almost a year later, we both got to know each other based on our similar passion to serve others. It has been the foundation of our relationship since. We had a lot of fights (and a break up) over the course of our relationship. Yet what we’ve always gone back to is our overlapping core values, though sometimes it’s taken awhile to get there. Our love for each other is anchored in our love for God and our love for people.
It’s Not About Winning, It’s About Loving
If you’ve ever been in a relationship, you’ve gotten into arguments. You’ve probably gotten into really big arguments. And chances are, you don’t even remember what you were fighting about. Yet things that often seem so insignificant lead to the longest fights because for some reason, we keep fighting on. That’s been true for me and Betsy.
Dealing with the Baggage We Carry Into Relationships
We say to people we love, “stay the same,” but we don’t mean it, nor should we mean it. We should change, we should grow. We all carry baggage we should eventually let go of to become better people. The beauty of relationships is that we can share the burdens, but the difficult and more meaningful part of relationships is helping each other let go of those burdens.
There’s a Time & Place for Every Fight
There are generally two topics to avoid if you don’t want to get in an argument with strangers: politics and religion. In our marriage, we have two topics as well: money and travel. Those are hot issues for us that start off innocently but usually end up blowing up. That doesn’t mean we avoid them completely – we’re going to fight about them regardless. But we can fight about them strategically.
Why We’re Starting a New Blog as a Couple
We’ve debated and delayed it for a while, but we’re finally deciding to start a new blog. We’ve seen a lot of other couples do blogs, but they often fizzle out after a few posts, so we weren’t sure if we would have the time to commit to it. We also didn’t want to do the cliche “Let’s start blogging about our marriage cause we’re married now.” But… we are. Here’s why: