This is a very fresh topic on my mind as I write this. This has been a topic of discussion and conflict at several points throughout our marriage and even before getting married. On the Strengths Finder Assessment, my top strength has consistently been responsibility. It is also one of the top 5 strengths of my husband Steven. So you might wonder: “Why the conflict then?” The conflict has arisen when it comes down to the following: “How do we be responsible with our finances – pay off debt and save, while still being generous?” I’m not here to give you numbers, percents, or even Biblical advice. However, I will share with you a little of what this journey has looked like for us.
We say to people we love, “stay the same,” but we don’t mean it, nor should we mean it. We should change, we should grow. We all carry baggage we should eventually let go of to become better people. The beauty of relationships is that we can share the burdens, but the difficult and more meaningful part of relationships is helping each other let go of those burdens.
Shalom. Peace. Restoring things to the way they were meant to be, the way God designed. We all desire to be a part of something meaningful that restores the world to what it was supposed to be. It’s been some 27 years for me realizing that my restoring shalom in the world is meaningless if I am not walking in the Spirit of God. What I mean by that is all of my actions, public AND private are in line with the way God intended them to be, the way of shalom, what some may call walking in the Spirit of God.
There are generally two topics to avoid if you don’t want to get in an argument with strangers: politics and religion. In our marriage, we have two topics as well: money and travel. Those are hot issues for us that start off innocently but usually end up blowing up. That doesn’t mean we avoid them completely – we’re going to fight about them regardless. But we can fight about them strategically.
We’ve debated and delayed it for a while, but we’re finally deciding to start a new blog. We’ve seen a lot of other couples do blogs, but they often fizzle out after a few posts, so we weren’t sure if we would have the time to commit to it. We also didn’t want to do the cliche “Let’s start blogging about our marriage cause we’re married now.” But… we are. Here’s why: