We’re no unique case.
Our knee-jerk reaction as human beings is to think that we are unique cases. We are incredible narcissistic. In living life with others, we realize that we are not alone. Others have been through or have experienced similar obstacles and situations as we have. In that we find the connection that our souls long for. In that we see that we are part of something bigger than ourselves; we are no unique case. In that we connect to a hope found in the One who made us.
Steven and I fought a lot dating. I mean a lot. It was exhausting. Many times I questioned our relationship, human love, and even myself. I never thought I could experience so much love and so much hurt – many times at the same time! Don’t get me wrong – Steven is the most loving, forgiving, and patient man I know. He’s been one of the tools that God has most used to show me the depth of His love and grace. I am incredibly proud to call him my husband and excited for what is in store for our future. However, it hasn’t been all roses. I’ve had to work through my emotionalism, lack of self-awareness, and low self-esteem amongst many things. Steven’s had to work to grow in patience, awareness, and expression of his feelings.
Community has helped us through realizing that we are no unique case to the world not to God. We can be known and find comfort with others. Most importantly, we are known by God. He knows our every facet. It’s so easy to become consumed by our own situation and problems. Sharing with others keeps us grounded in the greater story we are a part of and we find health in getting the focus off of us to participating in this greater story.
Humility is everything.
I am super competitive. In high school and college – especially in sports, I had to be the best, achieve the greatest, and take the win! There is nothing like giving your all and the sweet victory of success. For so much of my life I lived for the adrenaline rush of being on top. But, God has been working on me.
Countless nights dating we sat in the car for hours while I tired to prove my point. Round and round we went. Finally I realized, what I was fighting was my own pride and dysfunction. Now even more than ever I have learned that what really matters to God is how quick I am to admit my faults, ask for forgiveness, and forgive without proving “my point.” Everything within my flesh is clawing, kicking, and screaming. While I could listen to these voices, and many times I do, I’ve learned the hard way that biting my tongue and letting God work in the midst of this tension to develop my humility is one of the greatest spiritual acts I can practice. Much of what I’ll be sharing is about these times of waiting and what God is working in my heart.
One of the most difficult things for me to do is to silence myself and eliminate distractions. Steven often calls me out on my need to simply pace through the apps on my phone ever 5-10 minutes. I was taught to multi-task and now I am learning to be singular focused. This blog is a way to keep me accountable to being in the moment and savoring my experiences God is giving me today – right here, right now. I want to soak in all that I have in this life. Blogging is a tool to my rebellion against being constantly connected, multitasking, and numbing myself with the illusion that more is better.
My prayer is that in our story you my find connection, hope, and an awareness that the Great Author of our lives is pursing us more than we can comprehend.