This past week I got my teeth shaved down in order for my new smile. It was pretty awesome and scary to see my teeth in their shaved down form – so small, raw, vulnerable. Last Wednesday I spent over 5 hours at the dentist – more impressions, pictures, molds, and finally shaving down 10 of the 14 of my top teeth. I have to laugh at this picture now – my face all numb from the medicine as I try to hold up my upper lip to smile.
Don’t worry, they didn’t leave me with this smile, see my latest smile below!
No Turning Back
In order to experience the blessing of the future God has for us, I think a lot of times he grows us by bringing us to that point of no turning back. For me there is no turning back to my old smile, I will forever have my new, porcelain smile. But, it’s representative of the spiritual decision I have to trust God with my future and to not run back to what was before.
I also resigned from my job this week. I will not be returning to my position at LA Academy as a special education teacher. In this process of debating the best time to communicate to my employer that I would be returning in the coming school year, I had been sensing that God had wanted me to let go and trust him in the unknown before he would be showing me what I would be moving into. I still don’t know what is “next” as far as a job, but it has been encouraging to receive calls to be interviewing at 4 additional school districts since I announced my leave on Saturday.
In all of this, God has been showing me how to be still in the process of change – change of smile, change of job. The real work is not in moving on to what is “new” but instead the work is in the silence of this season. Growing my trust in God and His character when it would make sense for fear and anxiety to cripple me. This is the true beauty of this season. It’s uncomfortable. It’s long. It requires a lot of shaving down of the soul, but it’s necessary. In this, I choose joy. I choose to trust in the One that loves me the most, knows me the best, is always faithful, and sent His son to die so I can live a joy that knows no bounds: God.
Smiling with my “temporary” teeth with two of my favorites, Jules and Evie.